Ah, insta love. Who could live without it? EVERYONE, BASICALLY. We all know and hate the cliche trope of “love at first sight” — especially when it ruins an otherwise-good book we’ve committed our heart and soul to. Most readers can agree: insta love is bad. But if so, why do so many writers use it?? Should the entire trope be put to death? Or are we simply doing it wrong?
Let me tell you something I haven’t told ANYONE yet: (dramatic whispering) I’M DOING CAMP NANO IN APRIL.* And my book (which I’m not going to tell you about YET muahaha) KIND OF INVOLVES INSTA LOVE. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Don’t do it, Abbie!! YOU’LL RUIN YOUR NOVEL.” But allow me to raise a question: IS ALL INSTA LOVE BAD?? See, to me, “insta love” basically means: two strangers meet and fall in love with each other VERY UNREALISTICALLY QUICKLY. Which is kind of the entire concept of my novel because the whole thing takes place in two days. BUT LET ME EXPLAIN.
I strongly believe there is no such thing as “love at first sight.” Unless you regard “love” as “physical attraction/romantic chemistry.” I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU** BUT LOVE IS DEEPER THAN THAT. And, chances are, you want to convey something deeper in your story. So if “love” is actually better defined as “selfless commitment to another person and trust in them and you would literally DIE FOR THEM” …uh…it’s kind of impossible to feel that deep of an emotion for a person just by clapping eyes on them from across the room.
PREACH, ELSA.
When we think of “insta love” we typically think of “love at first sight.” But we also think of “two people fall in love with each other over a super short period of time.” And though that scenario is highly unlikely in real life, today I’m going to prove that it’s entirely possible to make it FEEL 100% normal and perfectly paced in fiction. YOU WITH ME?? LET’S GO.
*I don’t actually sign up for any of these things I just party like a renegade in my own little dark corner of the world (aka: I’m going on vacation/hiatus and gonna write a book while I’m gone because WHY NOT)
**no i don’t
IS INSTA LOVE EVER NECESSARY?
YES. AND HERE’S WHY: some stories HAVE TO take place within 1-2 days. Because of the plot and the setting and the ENTIRE STORY, you have to abide to that timeline. What if your story is a romance?? FEAR NOT. This is 100% okay!! I’M DOING THIS EXACT THING WITH MY NOVEL. We’re going to figure it out together.
If not a lot of time goes by in your story… how can you make the reader FEEL like a lot of time goes by?? Make the story progress emotionally. Because falling in love takes lots of emotional progress, right? RIGHT. And when we watch a movie or read a book, we’re expecting big emotional progress to happen in a short amount of time — for us. Two or three hours go by for us and we see these characters go from being perfect strangers to being madly in love. It doesn’t matter if two years went by for them or TWO DAYS. It makes no difference to us, it just needs to FEEL realistic. Even if it’s not realistic. BUT I CAN’T CONTINUE WITHOUT AN EXAMPLE SO…
CASE STUDY: TANGLED
Tangled is not only a perfect love story, it’s also a perfect example of insta love that ACTUALLY WORKS. Apart from the narration at the very beginning of the film, the story takes place over the course of just 2 days. Not a lot of time for two strangers to have a chance encounter, get stuck on a wild adventure together, and fall in love — madly enough to sacrifice their own lives for each other! TALK ABOUT EMOTIONAL PROGRESS. But it feels realistic, doesn’t it?? YOU DON’T EVEN QUESTION IT, DO YOU?? (No. If you’re anything like me, you’re crying at the end of the movie… even after watching it a thousand times.)
In real life, it’s highly uncommon to fall deeply in love with a person you’ve only known for 2 days. It’s also highly uncommon to have magical glowing hair, but that’s besides the point. (In fact, EVERYTHING in your story can be fantastical and unrealistic — EXCEPT FOR THE CHARACTERS. The characters have to make sense to us, because if we can’t relate to their humanity, we don’t care about them… and we don’t care about the story, either.)
So how do we get from point A to point B? How do we take two characters who don’t know each other and make them fall madly in love over the course of a day or two without it SEEMING like “insta love”? TWO WORDS:
EMOTIONAL PROGRESS
This is another reason why “love at first sight” doesn’t work. Because there’s no EMOTIONAL PROGRESS going on. There’s no journey, no change, no conflict. Boy meets Girl. Boy likes Girl and Girl likes Boy. End of story. (Literally.) Attraction at first sight is fine, but WHERE’S THE CONFLICT?? I don’t see it, Rodney.
Now, going back to our example of Tangled: is there attraction at first sight? Yep. But is it LOVE at first sight?? …no.
In fact, it’s just the opposite: selfishness. All Flynn wants is to get his precious satchel back, and all Rapunzel wants is to see the floating lights. In the beginning, there are no heroic acts of self-sacrifice… instead, both our protagonists are looking out for number one.
SO… WHAT CHANGES?
THAT’S what the story is about! The emotional shift. The journey between point A and point B. The journey is usually the inevitable reactions to the plot — the characters rolling with the punches of what gets thrown at them. But it doesn’t have to be an epic adventure — it just needs to bring (or force) the characters closer together. In Tangled, some of these moments include: when Rapunzel proves she is braver than she looks and reveals her magical powers, and when Flynn tells her about his real name and background.
When your characters start to uncover things about themselves they normally keep secret, it paves the way for trust and eventually happiness. See what’s taking shape here? These “strangers” are starting to feel comfortable and happy with each other… and some would even say that Joy + Trust = Love. WELL THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY.
But that’s the point — it didn’t. In fact, it feels 100% natural to us. We’re not even thinking about the timeline at this point… we just want to know WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. Usually this is the part where some peril is thrown into the mix and the characters are forced to PROVE their love for each other. That’s when you really convince the reader it’s true love — because these characters have gone from not caring at all about each other to caring deeply about each other. We can relate to that emotional shift, even if the timeline is a bit unrealistic. IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER. Because if your story grabs me by the throat emotionally, I’m not going to think about the technical side of it. IF HUMANS ACT LIKE HUMANS REALLY DO, I’M GOING TO RELATE. And I’m probably going to stay up way past my bedtime to read what happens next.
TALK, BRO
What do YOU think of insta love?? Have you ever avoided writing a story with a short timeline because of this problem?? IF SO, I HOPE THIS POST HAS INSPIRED YOU. Can you think of any other books/movies that take place over 1-2 days and don’t feel like insta love?? Because I was racking my brain to think of more examples lol. LET’S TALK ABOUT INSTA LOVE IN THE COMMENTS.
rock on,
abbiee
